


The Two Times The Cardinal Helped, and the One Time He Didn't

by kissthemforme



Series: The Bible of Ghost [1]
Category: Ghost (Sweden Band)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Woops, i'm worried this seems out of character for copia, sort of a character examination?, this is how i see him
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-08
Updated: 2018-06-08
Packaged: 2019-05-19 13:00:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,121
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14874209
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kissthemforme/pseuds/kissthemforme
Summary: Sometimes the helpers need help as well.





	The Two Times The Cardinal Helped, and the One Time He Didn't

**Author's Note:**

> Yoo I'm really sorry if this seems out of character for Cardi C. This is just how I personally view his character woops

The first time she met the Cardinal was on a Wednesday. 

 

She felt lost. Scared. Her parents were angry. If she closed her eyes, she could still hear their voices pounding in her ears, the sound of glass smashing beside her face. She couldn’t understand why they were so mad. They had told her that she could tell them anything, that they’d love her no matter what. They’d promised. How could they break a promise so easily?  
She hadn’t intended to end up at the church. She’d just wandered there, her mind foggy and her eyes blurry with tears. Maybe it was the stained-glass windows. Maybe it was the smell of fresh cut grass and apple blossoms. She couldn’t quite recall, but as her feet scuffed against the warm sidewalk she felt herself being drawn to the large white building.  
At first glance the church seemed as welcoming on the inside as the outside. It was spacious, rows of large wooden pews covering the red carpeted floor. Light spilled in through the colorful glass windows, sending beams of rainbow across the room. At the front of the nave was a stage. At the head of the stage sat a large black pulpit surrounded by risers for a choir. Her eyes strayed to the right side of the church, her attention landing on a large wooden box. A confessional. Hesitantly she stumbled towards the confessional and opened one of the brown doors. Stepping inside she closed the door behind her. The other side of the confessional was blocked off by a wall, intricate designs carved into the wood, leaving just enough space to see bits and pieces of what was behind the wall. The longer she looked, the more warped and twisted the designs became, what she originally thought were small stars or flowers morphing into the cruel heads of rams. Shaking her head, trying to remove the odd images from her mind, she sat down on a small bench. It was soft, covered in some sort of red fabric, velvet maybe.  
The other door to the confessional creaked open, a man cloaked in red taking his side next to her. Through the carvings in the wall she could just make out Ivory skin and black rimmed eyes.  
“What brings you here my child?” The man asked, his voice thick with an accent she couldn’t quite place.  
She inhaled and exhaled slowly. “I don’t know.” She dragged the back of her hand across her nose, wiping away as much moisture as she could. “Actually, I do know I guess. I don’t go to church or anything, like, at all, but maybe you can tell me if… if I’m wrong. If what I’m doing is wrong.”  
“What troubles you?”  
She swallowed, her throat drying. She clenched and unclenched her hands. “For so long I’ve had this… secret about myself, that I haven’t told anyone. I didn’t want to, but I told my parents, and now they’re angry. But I can’t change this thing about me. It’s part of who I am. Should they be angry? Or am I in the wrong?”  
The person on the other side sat silent, the only sound being the breathing from both sides of the confessional. “You are who you are. You can’t change that. As long as you aren’t… harming anyone, I believe it is your parents at fault.”  
She sat quietly, the words the man had said replaying in her head. “Thank you father. That… actually helps a lot.”  
The man on the other side chuckled. “My child I am a Cardinal. There’s a bit of a difference.” He cleared his throat. “Thank you for speaking with me. And, if you ever wish to come to an evening mass, the church will always welcome you.”  
She opened the large wooden door in front of her. “Thank you, Cardinal.”

The second time she met the cardinal was at a Sunday mass. 

It had been a year since their first meeting. Her eyes were darker, veiled in tiredness. Love had come and gone. Life had changed. In a tear stained haze she had yet again wandered to the church and entered its doors, choosing an empty pew in the back to sit on. Around her people stood singing, their faces shadowed by the candles lit overhead. Behind the pulpit stood a man, his face hidden with black and white skeleton like makeup. He had his arms raised to the heavens, dark sleeves billowing from his arms. Next to him on the stage stood a line of men and women in black costumes, their faces covered with silver, horned masks. Behind them a stained-glass window of a ram glowed in the moonlight.  
“It has been some time since I have seen you my child.” A voice whispered next to here. Her head snapped to the side, coming face to face with pale skin and dark rimmed eyes. It was the first time she had seen the Cardinal with his face unaltered by the wall in the confessional. He was younger than she expected, but something told her he was older than she thought. Like the man on stage, he too had black makeup covering his eyes and upper lip, but the rest of his face was left unpainted, revealing a mustache, and a dusting of freckles across his nose and upper cheeks. “May I sit down?”  
She moved over, making room for the red robed man.  
“You’re… the Cardinal.”  
“In the flesh.” He said, a smile tainting his words. “You seem to always find yourself at the church in times of need. What is bothering you my child?”  
She frowned and quickly wiped any stray tears from her eyes. She looked down at her hands. “Lots of stuff I guess. I feel confused. Lost. I loved someone, but they don’t love me anymore.”  
The Cardinal nodded, clasping his hands together in his lap. “Love is a painful thing.” A smirked played across his lips. “Sex is also painful, but only if done wrong.”  
She felt her face twist in a grin. “You aren’t wrong there.”  
“So this person you loved, they ‘broke up’ with you?”  
She nodded.  
“And you are hurting, yes?”  
“Yes.” She bit her lip. There were so many happy memories, but thinking of them felt like she was being stabbed. Tears stung behind her eyes, choking in her throat. She wrapped her arms around her torso as a sob threatened to explode through her. “It hurts. A lot.”  
A gloved hand gently touched her arm, the fingertips soft. “Love does that, especially when love is lost. You poured all your love into one person, and they poured all their love into you. But now you no longer have this person to pour all your love into, and no one to pour their love into you. It can hurt. But, there are other things to put your love into, and other places to find love. And remember, love comes in all shapes and sizes. Platonic, romantic, even sexual. Spend time with your friends, your family. Find a… hobby? Is that the right word?”  
She nodded and pursed her lips. “But… what if no one else will love me?”  
For the first time, the Cardinal smiled. It was small, almost invisible, but the light in his eyes gave it away. “My child, there are billions of people on this earth. Someone will love you.”  
She sniffed, matching the Cardinals small smile. “I guess you’re right.”  
“You guess? Of course I’m right. I’ve done my fair share of… dancing, so to speak. I know a thing or two about love.” He winked.  
She frowned. “But, you’re a cardinal. Isn’t it, like, illegal for you to have sex and stuff?”  
The Cardinal shook his head.“No, you’re thinking of the catholic religion my child. This is the church of Lucifer. Here, loving, and making a little love,” He wiggled his eyebrows. “Is encouraged.”  
She looked around, finally putting two and two together, between the skeletal makeup, and ram imagery. “Huh. I like the church of Lucifer better than any church of God I’ve been to.”  
“Don’t we all?”

The third time she met the Cardinal was on a Saturday. 

The sky was clear, hardly a cloud tinting the sun. Her skin had tanned, and her eyes glittered with a smile. New love had been found in the form of a large floppy eared dog. It had been four years since her first meeting with the Cardinal, and her mind had all but forgotten him, until she found herself stopping outside the large white church as her dog stopped to relieve himself. He was standing under a large apple tree, his skin paler and his eyes darker than she remembered.  
She yanked on her dogs leash, pulling him away from sniffing at a fire hydrant. Her feet shuffled in the, the green tickling her bare ankles.  
“Cardinal.” She whispered, her hushed voice dragging the man's eyes from the sky. He blinked at her before his eyes softened with recognition.  
The corners of his eyes creased with a smile. “My child.” He glanced down at the dog who was now sniffing at his shoe, a wet tongue hanging dangerously close to the black and white surfaces. “I see you found love.” He crouched down and scratched behind a shaggy ear.  
She smiled. “Yeah. His name’s Oscar. I got him from a shelter not long after the last time I was here.”  
Oscar leaned up to sniff the Cardinal before dragging his tongue across the side of his pale face. The Cardinal gave a soft yelp and jumped to his feel.  
The girl gave the dog’s collar a soft yank. “No! We don’t lick people! We’ve been over this!”  
The dog turned to the girl and barked happily. She sighed and turned to the Cardinal. He had a red sleeve up to his face, wiping away dog spit. A soft chuckle escaped his lips.  
“I’m so sorry!” She exclaimed hastily. The Cardinal put his free hand up and shook his head. “Do not apologize. Sometimes a man needs a good kiss. We get lonely sometimes.”  
Sweeping his red robes out from under him, the Cardinal sat down cross-legged, his back to the tree. He patted the ground next to him, and gave a quick scratch on top of Oscar’s head. The girl sat down next to him. She let her eyes trace his face. Something about the way his lips dropped at the corners concerned her.  
“What brings you to the church today my child? You never seem to come without a reason.”  
She sat silently for a moment before saying “I think I’m here because of you Cardinal.”  
“Cardinal Copia.”  
“Cardinal Copia?”  
“Yes, that is my full title,” The Cardinal sat quietly, running his gloved fingers through the long grass. “And maybe you are here because of me.”  
“What troubles you?” She asked, mimicking his soft accent.  
Cardinal Copia clasped his hands together, his eyes studying the black leather. “Today is the day of my inauguration. I am taking over a large role in the church, a role that is viewed as very important. Papa Nil, who is one of the church leaders does not believe me to be ready. I don’t believe I’m ready either.”  
“Well, someone still chose you though, right? So that means someone thinks you’re ready. And if Papa who ever doesn’t think you’re ready, then you just have to prove him wrong.”  
Cardinal Copia tightened his locked fingers. “But what if I can’t prove him wrong?”  
The girl reached over silently, softly laying a hand on top of his, loosening the tight, leather covered knuckles. “I think you can. I know you can.”  
The Cardinal wrapped one of his hands around hers, the leather warm to the touch. “You can’t know that.”  
“I may not one hundred percent know, but I know you’re good at helping people. You helped me through two of the hardest times of my life. Not everyone can do that sort of thing. I think you can do it, and I’m standing by it.”  
They sat in silence for a moment, hands tangled together. The sun shone strong overhead. Oscar had dozed off in front of them, his hind legs twitching.  
“I think,” The girl muttered, squeezing the cardinal’s hand. “You do your best to help others and make them happy, but you don’t leave any happiness for yourself. Don’t forget to leave some for yourself. You’re important too.”  
The Cardinal squeezed her hand back. “I think there’ll be some days when I’ll need to be reminded of that.”  
“When you do, expect me outside the church, waiting to remind you.”  
“I will.”


End file.
